How to Handle Homesickness (and Celebrate Anyway)
Let me start of saying that I have no regrets moving to Valencia, but the body remembers.
Homesickness doesn’t always arrive with tears. Sometimes it sneaks in on a quiet Tuesday, when the girls ask about their cousins or I see someone’s Instagram from back home. It’s a homesick ache—not because we regret moving to Valencia, but because when you choose something new, you also choose to miss something familiar.
And that’s okay.
Here’s how we’ve learned to carry both—gratitude and grief, celebration and sadness—and still find joy in the in-between.
It Hits in Waves
Some days it’s easy. We’re drinking cortados in the sun, walking to the market, and life feels like a dream. Other days, it’s hard. The girls miss their grandparents. I miss Target. Cory misses having sports in English. We all miss the messy, wonderful chaos of home during the holidays (Yes, but not really).
And the hard part? The world around us keeps going. Valencia doesn’t pause for your pangs of nostalgia. But that’s taught us resilience.
When It Hits the Hardest
Holidays: No matter how much fun you’re having abroad, Thanksgiving without your extended family feels... different.
Birthdays: Blowing out candles without childhood friends around the table stings sometimes.
Random Tuesdays: It’s not always big events. Sometimes it’s missing familiar faces at school pickup or favorite snacks that just don’t exist here.
What Helps
Letting ourselves feel it. We talk about it. We name it. We don’t pretend it’s not there.
Tradition tweaks: We brought a few American traditions with us (yes, even Halloween), but we’ve learned to mix them with local ones. It makes the new feel richer, not like a replacement.
Scheduled calls: Instead of waiting to feel connected, we book FaceTime with family regularly. The girls love showing off their new Spanish words or their latest painting.
Food therapy: Sometimes homesickness is a pancake problem. One batch of buttermilk pancakes on a Sunday morning can feel like home in a pan.
Making new rituals: Now we have “Mercado Saturdays” and “Midweek Churro Walks.” They give us rhythm, joy, and something to look forward to.
Find Your People
One of the biggest remedies for homesickness? Finding your people. Valencia has a surprisingly vibrant community of internationals and locals who are warm, welcoming, and often going through the exact same feelings.
We joined a few local Facebook groups early on (try Americans Moving to Spain or Valencia Expats), and that led to everything from wine nights to school supply swaps. We’ve met people through language exchange events like those organized by Valencia Language Exchange, where friendships form over tapas and tinto de verano.
For families, school WhatsApp groups (yes, they are a whole thing!) can turn into weekend playdates and birthday invites. Frances and Evelyn have met kids from all over the world, and we’ve gotten to know their parents too. Our friend circle now includes people from Denmark, Mexico, Germany, and even Seattle.
We also leaned into volunteering—last fall when the DANA storm his I started helping with a local group to get food quickly delivered to the volunteers working on the front line to help cleanup the destruction caused. It turns out nothing bridges language gaps like teamwork and shared purpose.
What we’ve learned is this: community doesn’t always come to you. Sometimes you have to go looking for it. Be brave. Go to the event even if you’re tired. Say yes to the coffee. Smile and ask someone where they’re from. Over time, you build your people. And then one day, when you're feeling homesick, someone else will notice—and bring you a piece of banana bread just because.
How the Kids Handle It
Frances is 11, and she’s felt it deeply at times. A friend’s birthday in the U.S. she missed. Summer Camps she will never to, school traditions she used to love. Evelyn, at 6, adapts quickly but still asks, “Why don’t we live closer to Grandma?”
We answer honestly. We remind them of what we’ve gained—and what we can still keep through connection. And we always leave room for the big feelings.
Celebrate Anyway
This is what we’ve learned: you can miss people and still dance in your kitchen. You can cry one morning and plan a picnic that afternoon. Homesickness doesn’t cancel joy—it just means your heart is big enough to love more than one place.
So we celebrate. Maybe not the way we used to. But fully, joyfully, and with open hearts.
We sing birthday songs in English and then again in Spanish
We host Friendsgiving with lots of tapas mixed in
We decorate with string lights and family Zooms
We let the girls pick “traditions from home” to recreate each season
Amanda’s Final Thoughts
If you’re reading this while missing someone or somewhere, I see you. It’s okay to miss what was. But I promise—there’s magic in what is, too.
We didn’t move abroad to erase our roots. We came to grow new ones. And now, our family tree has branches in two countries, with deep love on both sides of the ocean.
So celebrate anyway. Cry a little, laugh a lot, and let homesickness be part of the story—not the whole thing.
In Gratitude,
Amanda Chigbrow
Founder of LaVidalencia
@LaVidalencia | LaVidalencia.com